A Sandra
Lee Kwanzaa
Annette Janik
Oh, Sandra Lee! You are a
treasure.
Your love of ranch dressing, cool whip and vodka knows no bounds. Your
motto—Keep it simple, keep it stunning, and always keep it semi-homemade!—has
taught legions of soccer moms and Southern bangs-teasers how to make “delicious”
meals for their families by mixing together pre-made food products (like
cheesewhiz and taco seasoning!) to create something entirely different and
scrumptious (zesty fondue!). Your time-saving tips help families everywhere eat
well during these fast times. Canned La Choy vegetables to create salad chinois?
Brilliant! Instant potatoes, eggs, and parmesan cheese turn into a potato
soufflé? Mouthwatering! Four cheese mix, mayonnaise, and thick cut bacon wrapped
around corn cobs for “Bacon-Wrapped Cheesey Corn”? So healthy! And who can
resist your coordinated tablescapes? Of course every place setting at a
baseball-themed dinner party should have a genuine mitt and ball atop each
plate. And, OH! I love-love-loved your idea of bringing a chandelier to hang
from a tree branch at your next outdoor picnic to
class it up. And if anyone knows class it’s you, Sandra. You’re a shining
diamond on the Food Network lineup!
Sandra, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention your powerhouse cocktails (or,
“tinis” as you delightfully call them) that accompany each meal—I personally am
a fan of your Blu-tini: part blueberry vodka, another part vanilla vodka, a
splash of sweet liquor, and some fresh blueberries. No silly fruit juice or
tonic fillers there—just pure, delicious vodka. I know that’s what I want to
wash my meal down with when I’m trying to eat my feelings, and you really
understand that about America, Sandra. Some people say that you’re sauced
throughout your shows, but I know you’re just drunk on style and innovation.
What really amazes me, though, is your innate cultural sensitivity. From your
“Buddha's Delight Dumplings” to your “Star of David” Hanukkah cake complete with
marshmallows (kosher-smosher!), you’re really tapping into a global market. My
favorite of all your wonderful creations, however, has got to be your delicious
Kwanzaa cake.
You have really outdone yourself on this one, Sandra. I mean, really outdone
yourself on this one.
How lovely does that look?
A delicious,
store-bought angel food cake, frosted with cocoa-flavored store-bought vanilla
frosting, filled in the center with canned apple pie filling for a little zing!
Then, the pièce de résistance: topping the cake with extra large tapered
Kwanzaa candles, pumpkin seeds, popcorn, and…. corn nuts.
You know, Sandra, nothing stands for the seven Kwanzaa principles of unity,
self-determination, collective-work and responsibility, cooperative economics,
purpose, creativity, and faith like corn nuts. And how wonderful of you to
incorporate the Kwanzaa tradition of serving fresh fruits into the cake by
including sticky sweet gelatinous canned apple pie filling. You are a true
inspiration for cultural awareness and unity, Sandra Lee. But you’re also so
versatile! Just take out the candles from the Kwanzaa cake and you still have a
delicious looking dessert. My mouth is watering already at the thought of
preparing it for my next dinner party with the girls. I’ll pair it with a
steaming mug of your butter-rum coffee!
Oh, Sandy. Can I call you Sandy? Sandy, your flair and elegance are unparalleled
on the Food Network. I cannot wait until your next holiday special so that I can
incorporate your ideas and recipes into a multicultural holiday feast. I am
eager to see what you do with Ramadan! A lovely post fast nightcap, perhaps? It
just sounds like something you’d do, Sandy!
Keeping it simple, sassy, and semi-homemade,
Annette Janik
Sandra Lee Photo: greatertalent.com
Sandra Lee Kwanzaa Cake Photo: foodtv.com
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